Eternity Is Just That Much Longer To Love You
by blueashke
Summary: AU post season 1. Laura and Carmilla have escaped Silas, but a chance encounter shortly after they find their freedom leads to a very unexpected turn of events. T for now, with a likely M rating when I get to the fun stuff.


**I know, I know. I'm supposed to be updating Skirts. And I will, I promise. But my buddy Sarah is having a rough day, so this is for her. If you haven't watched Carmilla, get your ass to YouTube and do so on the KindaTV channel. I certainly don't known anything here, no copyright infringement intended, etc etc etc.**

 **This is AU post season 1. Silas has been escaped, and our lovely ladies have taken off into the wilds of Europe to just enjoy being together.**

I didn't mean to turn her. I never planned on doing it, and we hadn't been together long enough for her to ask and for me to say no. But who expects to just randomly walk into a robbery? All we were doing was ducking out of the rain so I could get her some cookies. But there was an asshole with a gun, and she startled him, and before I could bite him and save her, he'd shot her, right in the neck. I had a split second to make the decision, but really, there wasn't one to make. I tore his throat out and ran right back to her.

The blood of your soulmate tastes different. It is sweeter, more potent, and infinitely addictive. I'd discovered the truth of this fact the first - and only - time I'd bitten Laura. A single mouthful had been enough to power me through several days, letting me enjoy real food with her and driving me absolutely insane at the same time. Now, though, there was a feast laid before me, at such a time when I could only wish for nothing. Still, I knew what I had to do. There was only a moment to ask her, but I couldn't turn her without asking, I just couldn't.

"Cupcake, Laura," I held her in my arms and whispered to her, "I can save you, but you'll be like me. Do... do you want that? Forever, with me?" I was terrified of the answer. If she said yes, I'd be her mother of a sort, and she'd never be comfortable far away from me. Of course, I didn't _want_ her ever to be far away from me, but I didn't want her to feel trapped. But if she said no, I'd lose her, forever. And I didn't know if I could survive that.

She coughed, blood pooling inside her wonderful mouth as she smiled weakly at me. "Carm, of course I want to be with you. Yes. Make me like you." As she started to fade away, I bent my head down and began to drink. The power that flared up in me made me feel like I was trying to swallow the sun. Momentarily distracted by the surge of energy, I almost missed the golden moment - those few seconds between life and death when a human can be made vampire. It was her gripping my hand that brought the world back into hyper focus.

"Okay, sweetie, this is gonna suck, but you need to drink." I tore a hole in my wrist with my rarely-used fangs, and held it to her mouth, watching as she first grimaced, then latched on, pulling and sucking like she was born to be a vampire. I realized that if I had gotten lost after 300 years because I was drinking my soulmate, she as a baby vamp was going to be positively manic once she'd had my blood. We needed to go to ground, and fast. First, though, I had to get her to let go. Easier thought than done, but holding fast to her hair while I pulled my wrist away did the trick, eventually. "Come on Cupcake, we need to go. You can have more once we're safe, I promise." We wouldn't be able to sustain one another, but a bite here and there wasn't going to hurt us.

* * *

The upside of having drunk from each other was that unlike most baby vampires, Laura didn't go crazy with bloodlust for the first few well... years. I had enough time to get us to a cabin out in the woods, getting her settled before racing to the nearest hospital so I could raid their blood supply. Once I had enough to hold us over for a month or more, I stopped at a closed mall and did some stealthy burglary, acquiring clothing, camping and bedding supplies, and clearing out a few stores of their chocolate and cookie supplies. The rest could wait. Thus fully prepared, I headed back to the cabin in a 'borrowed' SUV that some poor sap had forgotten to lock.

* * *

Life after death was blissful. Sure, we were going through blood at a much more rapid rate than I had anticipated - my Cupcake wasn't crazy with bloodlust, but she definitely still had her endless appetite - but there were plenty of animals for me to go out and kill as necessary. These mountains weren't used to big cats, so finding a meal was pretty simple. Laura still had atrocious fashion sense, but since I was the one who'd brought back clothing, I was able to help with that a bit. She seemed to think I was being unreasonable when I got her a pair of leather pants, but if I wasn't going to get her OUT of them any time soon, I could at least still appreciate her in them.

Oh yeah, that. She wasn't ready for sex yet. We had been well on our way there before she was killed, but then we needed to calm her bloodlust, and by the time she felt in control again, she was nervous all over again. I think she was intimidated by my history. I realized that it was better that she was intimidated by it than angry or disgusted. When I mentioned that to her, she cocked her head at me and gave a little scoff. "Carm, you've been around for centuries. Of course you've had more sex than I have. Hell, you had more sex while being my roommate than I've had."

"Wait, no, Laura, I haven't had sex the entire time I've known you," I blurted out, realizing that she thought I really had been working my way through the women of Silas. Granted, I'd done that pretty much every other year, but I'd only had all of the study buddies around to make her jealous, and a quick bite and a suggestion that we'd done other things had been enough to sustain me between refills of my 'soy milk' container. "Did you really think I was having sex in your bed?"

The look of confusion mixed with relief was enough answer for me. "Oh, Cupcake, no. No no no sweetie." I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her tight against me where we were curled up on the couch. Of all the things that triggered the inevitable breakdown, this wasn't what I expected to do it, but sure enough, moments later, the tears began to flow.

"I th-thought y-y-you just flirted with me when you were bored," she managed between sobs. "A-a-and then y-you d-d-DIED and I thought I'd n-n-never see you again and-and-and now you're stuck with me forever and what if you realize I-I'm nothing special and you l-l-leave me and oh my God I can't tell my dad I'm a vampire is he just going to think I'm dead? Oh my God I'm dead... I'm never gonna grow old or finish college or become a famous journalist or or or..." she collapsed against me, words lost as she began to let go of her previous life. I found myself crying along with her, mourning the loss of what had become my life as well. I'd mourned the loss of my human life hundreds of years ago, but the life I'd built at Silas, where I didn't have to hide who or what I was, that I'd never thought about losing, and now it, too, was gone.

Hours later, we'd both been reduced to occasional sniffles, a mountain of discarded tissue on the coffee table in front of us. At some point, I had laid back and pulled her to lie on top of me, her smaller frame fitting her perfectly against my own. Her head lay on my chest, though I noticed her lifting it up and glancing down a few times before I understood she was reacting to the lack of a heartbeat. We hadn't cuddled like this before, so it hadn't come up in such an obvious way. I, however, had already in the last few days grown accustomed to being regularly startled by her, as there was no longer any heartbeat to hear coming closer. She hadn't realized she didn't need to breathe yet, so the preternatural stillness that we vampires come by naturally wasn't wholly there unless she actively tried to hold her breath.

"So... really? All this time?" Her voice was scratchy with disuse, picking up our conversation from earlier. It took me a moment to remember what I'd said last.

"Not since the first time I laid eyes on you, Cupcake. I'll admit, I didn't know just _why_ I wasn't interested in them at first, but once you found the blood and didn't try to stake me or run away, I held some hope. Little did I know that you just hadn't figured out what I was just yet." I couldn't help but tease her a little. The fact that she hadn't put together blood + night owl = vampire just tickled me. Sure, I could and did go out in the sunlight, but it was always more comfortable at night. Plus, you know, the whole 'giant black cat' thing. "And what about you? You and Lawrence never got down and dirty on one of those late night study sessions?"

She laughed, shaking her head where it was buried against my chest. "Danny? No, we never got there. I think if Betty hadn't disappeared, if I hadn't met you, maybe there might have been something." She stopped and looked up at me, chin resting on my sternum, lips only inches from mine. "But from the moment you walked in, you became such a big part of my world, Carm. I spent so much time mistrusting you and we could have been together and-"

"Hey, no," I interrupted her, knowing she was going to send herself down into another shame and tear spiral. "Laura, if you we had gotten together sooner, you would have just ended up as my mother's next victim. And you were right to mistrust me. I'm not perfect, Cupcake. I'm a vampire and you are too, now. We live in a world of moral grey areas, because we have to. Sure, animal blood will do when we need it, and we don't have to kill people to feed. But we're still considered to be evil and dark and all-consumingly wretched the world round, you know. But for now, can we just stay here and be you and me in love?" I gasped the moment the word escaped my treacherous mouth. It was far too soon to be using that word, wasn't it?

She went perfectly still atop me. If my eyes had been shut, I wouldn't have known she was still there. "Love? You... you love me?" I should have been able to gauge the tenor of her voice, to know if she was hoping I'd say yes or no, but frankly, I was too scared, too nervous, too excited to tell.

I wrapped my arms tightly around her waist and sat up, bringing her vertical with me and settling her into my lap. One of her hands curled into my tousled hair. The other came up to her lips and she worried at her fingernails, obviously nervous for what I had to say. "Creampuff, I know you want a yes or no answer, and I'll give that to you, but first I need you to listen while I explain, all right?"

She nodded, seeming to understand. I took a deep breath, centered myself, and began.


End file.
